Hi Jojo, well that… sucks.

it’s not you, it’s him. Let’s get that very clear. Well done on being brave enough to show him that post. For him to be able to read that, and just take ‘I get lots of blow jobs’ from it is truly remarkable, but then we live in the age of post truth so I blame Trump.

This behaviour can’t be rewarded though, so let’s break the pattern. And we have a golden tool at your disposal due to his new openness about you making him cum. 


Not you. Him.

You’ll need some lube as what you’ll start as a blow job you’ll move to a lubed handjob as he gets closer to cumming. And as you get him closer you’ll discover that a guy will agree and absorb pretty much ANYTHING you tell him as he’s on the edge.

Don’t see these as blowjobs any more, Jojo. They are his training sessions. You need to have particular things you want to impart. I’d start with dirty talk. And I’m afraid it’ll be a bit of a spoon feeding effort to start. But get him close and then you stop. That’ll get his attention. Lube your hand and start his training.

‘Sweetheart, as much as i love sucking your cock I need some things in return to keep me happy and horny. You know what I really love, I love you talking dirty to me while i do this. Do you think you can do that honey? Do you want to know the kind of things that turn me on most? (If he doesn’t agree give him a little longer to change his mind, then just stop, ‘I guess I better go ‘insert obvious excuse here’. He only gets to cum if he plays the game).

So assuming he says ‘yes’ then do something like this (using your favourites), 

Call me a slut.
Call me YOUR slut.
Call me your fucking cock sucking slut
Horny little bitch (drop the instructions, hopefully he’ll pick it up)
Whore, fucking whore
Fuck toy
Wet little slut

Etc etc, don’t be scared to repeat, get him closer, using hand and mouth and tell him not to stop, act really turned on, yes act a bit, it’s fine. Tell him how hot it is, that you love it, laugh with him at some if that’d work, ‘I like that one’. ‘You have no idea how hot this is’

Get him closer, don’t do it for too long, Even if he’s made a bit of an effort reward that copiously. Take him over, swallow. Then congratulate him (yes, treat us like kids, you can’t go far wrong). Snuggle up if he will, don’t ask for anything more yet. Softly softly catchee monkey.

So this is the pattern you’re going to repeat. Don’t always do it, and mix it up. Dirty talk is just to start. The big one will be edging. A vibe will help with this. But again, you get him very horny, then introduce the lesson. For the edging one, do it in bed, start with a blow job but move up to lying next to him and slowly wanking him. Then tell him to rub or vibe you at the same time. He does not cum till you’re on the edge. Kiss, use your mouth on his nipples, help him find the right spot on you, and then beg not to cum as you take him over.

All this is wiring really good sex experiences with treating you the way you want. The hope is he’ll start to do it for himself but this is using very basic Pavlovian psychology of getting him horny enough to try things and then rewarding him with orgasms when he does.

Once he’s got aware you’re not just a blowjob machine but a woman with needs get him to read the post again. And this time talk to him about it, edge him and make a plan. He will agree to anything at that point so make sure you know what you want and what you think will work.

Do not be afraid to stop mid wank. Get him all horny, then do stuff, then have him fuck you to finish. It’s absolutely what I do with denial subs all the time, it’ll drop his inhibitions, get him energised. All the stuff you know about edging and denial, use to motivate him. Some will work, some won’t. But really, we are pretty simple stimulus and reward work wonders.

My fundamental advice to any young couple wanting (non denial) sex advice is ‘she cums first’. It’s just how us guys are wired, make use of it to get what you want and if you do it enough, he’ll get the idea. I hope.

It might be the case this fails spectacularly… do come and message me if that proves the case, we can try different things and I’ll sort you out in the meantime.

There is a more radical solution for LSOB (Lazy sons of bitches). The cock cage. If you can persuade him to get tied up for a long blow job then you can slap on a cock cage and say ‘things need to change around here. This comes off once you learn to pay me the attention I need’. Ask Jane at keephimcaged for advice on that, she’s the expert!

So anyway Jojo, I hope that’s something to start with. You have done so well getting this started, and you know the power of denial. It’s your tool to use on him now to get what you want and need. Please, message me (totally confidential) if you’re struggling, I’m here to help. And if you want, I can keep you dripping and denied while I whore you to your own husband, it’s the least I can do to help…


James x

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