Not giving me a lot to go on there, anon…
But really, sounds like you need to decide what you want to do, and work out what you need to get there, and make a plan. The only person who’s going to change things is you, and you can do it. Almost anything becomes bearable when you see a way beyond it. It’s just feeling stuck where you are that’s awful.
Take some time out, turn off the TV, get out a paper and pen, and write down, what you love, what you’re good at, what you want to do, and what you need to start doing to make it a reality. And if you don’t know, get some advice from websites and actual people. They are out there wanting to help.