You aren’t doing anything wrong.
Your ‘dom’ is an asshole, that’s the problem. Incompetent, probably abusive, undoubtedly an asshole. He’s not a dom, apart from using it as a fake title to use you as a free whore, not a sub.
You are absolutely deserving of care and respect. This guy isn’t.
Some subs do love to be used and abused and treated the way he’s suggesting you should be. But that’s a choice they have made because they know it turns them on. And underlying that should still be a level of care and respect, even if how he treats you in ‘scenes’ is anything but.
You are so right saying denial and D/s should be fun, and enjoyable. If it isn’t, if you don’t feel cared for or respected, then something is wrong.
You will never have that with him. Not if he says that bullshit. He’s only out to use you and abuse you.
Ditch the loser as fast as you can, and put this down as a major learning experience.
Good doms are hard to find, but so worth it.