Hey. Recently I found out in into some kinky stuff (teasing, chastity belts and being tied up and the like). I’ve been fantasizing for over a year. I’d like to try it with someone else someday soon. But lately I’ve been worried that I wouldn’t be able to find someone with as similar tastes as mine (I’m not exactly the prettiest girl in the world). Even though I’m into basically into every gender. Any advice?

Hi Anon,

You may think you’re not the prettiest girl in the world, but let me tell you that to someone you will be the most beautiful, because the unique mix of who you are and what you love and what you look like will be the person they fall in love with.

If you want to explore your kinks safely then online is a great way to do it, but don’t let that stop you getting out there and meeting people, making friends and also mixing with people who are open minded and can teach you more about the things you find you’re into. 

While the whole public scene isn’t my thing I have great friends who adore it, and at the very least you could look up what’s happening locally in terms of munches – where kinky people just get together to chat. Fetlife is the big website for exploring that kind of thing online and then making the leap across to meeting locally.

But don’t worry too much about finding an exact match to your kinks, they’re only a part of you, and if you find someone who loves life and loves you it’s more than likely they’ll be really into whatever you are (the things you list aren’t too extreme at all).

Your kinks are part of you but don’t define you, so don’t worry that they’ll hold you back, just get out there and meet new people and have some fun and the rest will follow.

Good luck!

James