Well firstly, that’s brilliant. Both trying edging, and when you did go over by accident, having the willpower to ruin it, is amazing. So well done you.
My first bit of advice is, don’t worry about it, at all. For now.
If you’re just starting to learn about denial and how your body responds then the only way you can really do that and push the boundaries of what you can feel, is by risking going over the edge. It means you’re doing it well!
As you do it more you’ll start to learn the signals of just how close you are and how much more you can handle, and so begin to go over the edge less and less, and keep yourself in that ‘edgespace’ for longer and longer.
If you can do exactly what you did, which is ruin it when you do go over by accident, then you are brilliant and I’m very proud of you. Keep that up, and you’ll experience the different ways that ruins can affect you and also keep you horny, which is an interesting lesson too.
But you know what, even if you mess up and can’t resist cumming properly sometimes, that’s okay too. Don’t feel bad about it. This is supposed to be FUN, and we aren’t against orgasms here, we love them! It’s just that while cumming is good, not cumming is even better.
Whenever someone tells me they feel guilty about cumming my advice is stop denying yourself, have fun cumming lots, and stop feeling guilty. Because you know what, this shit is addictive. Denial feels so good, makes you feel so sexy, that after a bit of cumming as you want, you’ll start to crave denial again, and ruins, and how it all makes you feel. And you’ll realise you do it because you want it, not that you feel obligated. And that’s how it should be.
Because cumming is good, but not cumming is better.