hey! I’m in a long distance relationship and I’m going to be seeing my boyfriend in a month. I’d really like to try not to cum until I’m with him but I’ve never really done denial before- more like entertained the idea of it. Do you have any tips or help? Thanks James! Your blog is the reason I’ve even thought of this
This is a really hot idea. But a month might be a bit ambitious if you’re new to it. So here’s what I suggest to have some fun with it.
First, get him involved. Him knowing you are denying yourself will be such a turn on. Do some research, pick out some captions and posts that you think will arouse him. Get on a call when both have some privacy, say you wanted to show him some things, see if he thought it was hot. Assuming he does, tell him about how much you love it, how much it turns you on but you’ve never really tried it. You need his help.
Say your goal is not to cum for the two weeks up to you getting together. But with the first two weeks, how about you both have some fun with it. Start seeing who can say the hottest things, begin playing while on the call, agreeing neither of you can cum. Get close, show him some kinkier stuff, get it in his head while he’s edging too. Then tell him you want to play a game. Tell him you’re going to beg to cum, but no matter what you say, he’s to tell you no. If he lets you cum, you win, if he doesn’t, he wins (this is so much the definition of a win win game)
Make him crazy with how horny you get, tell him you want to hear him cum while you’re not allowed. And listen. Well done, you just burnt into his mind how good it feels to deny you.
You are so fucked.
From there, say you’ve heard three days is a good starting point. He might want to even join you in it, and that’s great. Whether one of you are playing or both, make the challenge to turn each other on as much as possible. Get him finding posts on bdsmlr to send you (edgingspace.bdsmlr.com) to turn you on and inspire him.
At the end of three days, whether he’s done it or not, he gets to cum and you, you’re going to teach him about ruined orgasms, and get him to give you one, if you’re lucky. If the two of you cam, suggest that. Be his little denied, edging, fucktoy. You are teaching him so much good stuff.
And then, then it’s the week. three days edging, three days no touch, experience the contrast. If you go over, you ruin it, but try not to.
And assuming that goes well, and that he’s really seeing the impact this has on you. Then it’s the two weeks before you meet. Keep sharing things that turn you on, teach him, it’s okay, he’s learning. Start sharing fantasies about what you want to do when you get together. Let him see how this liberates you.
And then, five days or so before you’re due to meet. Drop the bombshell.
‘What if you didn’t let me cum when we get together?’
As I said.
You’re so fucked.