“Will you walk into my parlour?” said the Hypno to the Doll,

“‘Tis the sparkliest little parlour that’s sure to make you loll.
The way into my parlour is down a winding stair,
And I’ve a many glittery things to show when you are there.”

“Oh no, no,” said the little Doll, “to ask me is in vain,
For who falls down your winding stair
-can ne’er come up again.”

“I’m sure you must be weary, dear, you’re staring at the wall;
Will you rest upon my little bed?” said the Hypno to the Doll.
“There are spinning spirals drawn around; the candle brightly glows,
And if you like to rest your eyes, it’s fine to let them close!”

“Oh no, no,” said the little Doll, “for I’ve often heard it said,
They never, never wake again, who sleep upon your bed!”

Said the cunning Hypno to the Doll, “Dear thing what can I do,
To prove the warm affection I’ve come to feel for you?
I have some wondrous crystals, the best that ever shined;
I’m sure you’ve seen good ones – would you care to peek at mine?”

“Oh no, no”, said the little Doll, “kind Sir, that cannot be,
I’ve heard about your crystals, and I do not wish to see!”

“Sweet creature!” said the Hypno, “you’re pretty as you’re wise,
How lovely are your features, now look into my eyes!
I’ve a little looking-glass upon my parlour shelf,
If you’ll gaze but one moment, dear, you’ll surely lose yourself.”

“I thank you, gentle Sir,” she said, “for what you’re pleased to say,
And if I weren’t so busy now, I’d surely love to stay.”

The Hypno shrugged as if to say, the choice was hers to make,
But well he knew her weakened will he’d now begun to break:
So he wove a subtle web, meant to comfort and to calm,
Soon her eyes were blinking slow; he had her in his palm.

Whispering into her ear again, and urging her to sleep,
“Go deeper, deeper, pretty Doll, never have you gone so deep;
Your heavy eyes will close now – in your mind your thoughts will stop;
There’s nothing now for you to do, but let yourself just drop!”

Alas, alas! how very soon this little hypnodoll,
Hearing his soothing, powerful words, did surely start to fall;
So feeling good she under went, and soon began to find,
Thinking only of his brilliant eyes, she was giving up her mind.
Imagining his crystal’s shine – poor hypno’ed thing! At last,
He brought her back to herself, then dropped her just as fast.
He’d led her down the winding stair, and gently nudged her then;
Her mind was lost forever – so she ne’er came up again!

And now dear little dollies, who may this story read,
My words have begun to dull your mind, by now you’ll start to need,
To listen to this Hypnotist, obey my beck and call,
And wish it was you in this tale of the Hypno and the Doll.

Original credit (and sincere apologies) to to Mary Howitt, whose poem I parodied.

Can you find all the hypnosis/NLP tropes and references?

Read it again and see if you find more.

Love this so much, but holy fucking shit you didn’t make the last line scan!!!! Kill me now.

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