Hello sir! I have been facing an issue lately and I’ve been kind of embarrassed about it and I don’t really know who to talk to about this. Me and my Dom have been thinking about playing with anal which is exciting for me! I honestly love it and find it as arousing as ‘regular’ sex. But the problem is I suffer from IBS and I don’t know how to communicate to him my fears about it getting… messy. Like REALLY messy. Sometimes I genuinely cannot control it and even though I would (1/2)

want to explore some more with him my fear stops me from doing so. So I’m guessing my question is if there are any people out there that are dealing with a similar issue, and if yes what can I do to help my situation? And as a dom, would you be ok with your sub saying sth like that? Sorry for silly questions, I’m new to being submissive and get really worried about stuff like this! (2/2)

I love questions like this, so real, and well done for being brave enough to ask!

As a dom I’d be delighted if you shared this with me. Absolutely we want to know and look, we all poo – anal sex, good anal sex needs to address issues like this and part of what makes it more than just the last resort of boring porn is that actually one on one it’s an incredibly intimate act. 

So by opening up about your worries, and discussing the practicalities of making it happen you’re actually making it more intimate and special. 

So yes, absolutely talk about it, flag up how nervous you are about something and I’m sure he’ll be great and sit down and talk it through with far less embarrassment than you think it’ll involve.

As far as practical stuff goes, the easy one is try it in the shower. Worst case scenario and it all gets very messy well it’s a minute with a shower head to deal with it all. 

Another one is just exploring enemas. I’m clueless about how it might affect IBS but logically if you’re clearing everything out with a deep enema there’s only so much that can go wrong. Lots of people find them very sexy, and for others they are just a good practical pre anal measure to feel and be as squeaky clean as your bottom can get.

But do see if you can find some research on colonics and enemas on IBS first, and at the very least start gently with them.

There’s one other small probability I’ll also flag up, which is there’s a good, if small proportion of people who’d find getting messy hot. You might even find out he’s one of them. Either way, shower sex is a great way to get started.

Anyway, let’s open it up to the glorious group mind of my followers and see what they can suggest in notes too.