Hello James,

First of all, I must say I’m in love with your blog and I want to thank you for updating it so often ! So please do not take what I’m about to write too seriously.

Sometimes, I do not think your caption fit the film or the picture you publish. I don’t know if I am clear (English isn’t my first language). For instance, here https://female-orgasm-denial.tumblr.com/post/167125922461/the-new-concept-of-the-fuck-gym-was-proving-very I found the woman very unhappy with tears and it made me sad. When women are not happy on the films or picture I watch on your blog, I feel sad. I mean, they look sad, so how can I feel good or excited about watching them ?

I don’t think I am too soft hearted in life but for me sex, even denial and even more bdsm is about sharing a joy and a happiness, if not, I think it’s sad, so I wonder if it’s me not understanding everything or if some people feel the same.

Don’t be mistaken, I am not critcizing and I love 99% of your blog ! Thanks again !

All the best
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Hi Ceceila, thank you for the excellent question.

Being kinky is a complex thing, it taps into the very deepest emotions and needs that we have, often in ways we don’t fully understand. 

For some people getting sexual and emotional satisfaction from ‘a scene’ as we call a kinky session is about much more than them being ‘happy’. In fact they want just the opposite, they want to be used, hard, even abused. Their deepest fantasy is to be like the woman in that image, fucked and used and treated as nothing but a fuck toy.

And that’s okay. If it’s what gets you off, it really is. 

It’s also okay NOT to want that, both are pretty normal believe it or not. 

Non-consensual sex is consistently one of the top female fantasies, for a variety of reasons. My only message is, don’t worry about it. If that’s true for you, then it’s only a fantasy, and it’s okay, and you should enjoy it. If it’s NOT for you, then that’s good too but don’t worry about the fact other people are into it, don’t let it get you sad. It does make them happy, you just can’t see it on their face.

If you come across porn or captions on my blog or others that aren’t for you, just move on, find one that is, and everything will be good.

Now don’t get me wrong, I actually think there isn’t nearly enough happy porn or portrayals of happy sex and kink online in porn or in  blogs, and in that way I agree. 

My personal experience is that most sex, vanilla or kinky, is a fun experience for those involved and involves a lot of laughing and smiling more than anything. But you don’t find that much in pornland, so I work with what I have.

I hope that helps,

James