hello and happy friday! a quick question for you, my bf and i are going to try orgasm control and denial for the first time this weekend. he has some concerns (since he is new to kink) about how he should respond during sexy times when i ask for permission to cum. do you have any suggestions or key phrases that you use?
Yeah that about sums it up 🙂
Okay but really, this is where safewords come in really handy. Discuss beforehand that if you really, really NEED to cum you will use a safeword, yellow, or red, or pineapple or whatever. And if you don’t say that, he’s to not let you.
I know that feels a bit forced but it’s actually a huge relief to a dom in training to have the certainty.
For bonus points he needs to tease you with it. Pretend he’s thinking about it, say things like maybe he’ll let you, suggest maybe he’ll ruin your orgasm instead.
But ultimately, let’s keep this black and white as a first exploration, you are NOT going to cum unless you safeword.
Once you both actually try that, and you both see how ridiculously hot it is, he’ll better understand why it’s a good thing for him to choose in the future.
If he adds to it that he’s ‘taking your orgasm’ and gets you to suck him off or fucks you, that’ll drive you completely bananas in the best way possible.
Also, get him reading this while you suck his cock:
And if you really want to go crazy, read this to him while he’s gently edging you:
You’re so fucked.