Thank you for this and all the other incredibly eloquent messages I’ve had, of both support and rebuke. (Where are you guys when I’m getting the ‘I want task now!’ messages?). The threat of physical violence wasn’t so appreciated.
I agree with the consensus that I shouldn’t put the chat logs online without hearing from her, I was saying that out of frustration at the accusations she’s made. Sorry!
What I have done is show it to close and trusted friends just to check I’m not going barmy and they concur that while it was quite the mindfuck I came up with, there’s nothing abusive about it in their opinion. And that’s what I care about.
I am sorry this has happened, as I’ve said, I’ve loved Strawberry’s writing and the conversations we had. Can I suggest anyone interested in this however simply read HER blog from the start. You will see days of wonderful experiences that I in part helped her explore and enjoy (just advice and discussion, not playing apart from one small practical bit of instruction on how to use clothespins).
For example, this is her write up of the day it actually happened:
I don’t know if it’s common or just my personal reaction, but it turns out that while I’m so horny and sexually charged up, every single little emotion (every, not only erotic) amplifies and multiplies by ten. If something was mildly pleasant before now it feels ecstatic. I heard something sad and I’m ready to burst into tears. I was annoyed and now I want to bite the first person unlucky enough to get into my sight. I noticed it affecting me in everyday life two days ago but didn’t pay much attention, until today a little event sent me all the way through the emotional rollercoaster, too bad I forgot to buckle up and hold on to the rails. I was so impressed after a certain conversation that I dropped what I was doing and laid down on my bed, face into the pillow, feeling shocked, which after a while changed into intense anger, and I was furious for half an hour, and then it has changed to prostration and I didn’t feel anything, and then I got super horny and soaked my panties yet again, and then I felt heartbroken… Oh my it was intense! My mood was swinging back and forth until all the emotions got a release to make myself finally feel relieved and fresh. Every little joke now seems like the funniest thing in the world and I laugh with joy, my chest feeling light as feather. Well, I guess it isn’t very arousing story, but it was the experience of the day.
What you’ll see is exactly my experience which is six days of delighted exploration (with mood swings she acknowledges) followed by a seventh where without any warning I was cut off and accused of abuse. The story I told, her reaction to it, and then her decision to not take up my challenge all happened DAYS before and we’d moved on to other conversations which she’s incredibly positive about!
I do not understand how she’s gone from this on Day 6 to turning on me the next day. I’m not sure I ever will, but if you’re going to get upset about this situation then please at least take her own description of the journey into account and appreciate a little of my bafflement at her changed behaviour..
I’m not going to be writing any more about this, but again, thank you for the support and also the honest criticism. My intention is only ever to give you wonderful people extraordinary, exciting experiences and to learn more about what your incredible mind and body are capable of. I have no hard feelings towards Strawberry and hope she’ll come through this knowing herself better.