denial-switch-quean:

I discovered the pleasure of denial by accident and since then nothing has been the same. 🙂

A few years ago (Aug 2014) I upset my Sir. I played with someone when I should not have. As corrective punishment we agreed I should not orgasm for a week.  We do not live together and can often go a week without seeing one another. At that point I was used to bringing myself to orgasm most days, when on my own, so this was a significant denial – then. At that point in time I always orgasmed when we had sex. Usually multiple times. Damn that man can make me cum like no one else can!

I was however also capable of having my libido ratchet down at times when I was busy and distracted and away from him. At first I thought to get busy and distract myself as a coping mechanism but that seemed like cheating. I was supposed to be suffering. I decided to masturbate daily to stir my desire and make my feeling of denial more acute. I had no idea then that I was edging. I had never heard of the term.

What I discovered was amazing to me. Yes, as expected, I was full of desire and decidedly aware of the denied orgasms. However, quite surprisingly to me I found I felt deeply connected to my Sir in a way I had never felt before when we were apart. I was aware of him constantly. My yearning became a stand in for his presence. I found myself not wanting to lose that connection after the week was over.

After our reunion and many happy orgasms, I found myself describing to him this connected sensation and asking him, timidly, if he had any interest in being in control of my orgasm when we were apart. It’s funny to recall now but I honestly felt like it was quite possibly an imposition and a burden to ask him to take this on. He assured me he did not feel like it would be a burden, promised to tell me if it didn’t work for him, and told me the idea turned him on. 

And so it began.

Wonderful. I’m looking forward to part 2.

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