It is my honour and joy to have some amazing women entrust me with their denial and who have given me control over their orgasms and more.

I’ve asked a few of them to share their stories, what they love about denial and what they have thought about the journey exploring it has taken them on. The plan is to hopefully get more updates from them in the future about what they are discovering and experiencing, so do ‘like’ this and let me know that’s something you’d like to see more of on the blog.

‘Diva’, the pseudonym I’ve picked for her, as she’s a hugely talented musician, was completely new to orgasm denial when she first approached me, as you’ll read below. She describes beautifully (and English isn’t even her first language, amazingly) the breadth of impact both denial, and submission can have on someone. I hope you enjoy and learn from what she’s shared.

Hi, James said I should write about what denial taught me and since I’m his good girl I do what I’m told (most of the time), here it is!

I’m 18 years old and a virgin and I was a very shy girl about 6 months ago, when I sent James my first message. 

The reason for it was a ‘denial contest’ on his blog where he said he would deny some of his followers (quite similar to his recent cybering monday offer). I was fascinated by denial, never tried it though and thought it’s time to do crazy things and try new things. So I sent him a very shy message about myself and asked him if he could deny me. He was incredibly kind and gave me time to open up and get comfortable to talk about sex (it’s kind of a taboo topic in my family and I never talked about secret kinks with my friends, so it was a strange feeling to talk openly about it) and then we started my first denial. 

I thought it would be 4 days long. At the end of those 4 days he gave me the choice if I want to cum or if I want to be denied longer. 

He made me edge and said “what is your answer princess, ‘let me cum’ or ‘deny me’?. I said ‘deny me Sir’. I just didn’t want to cum after 4 days of denial, I loved the desperation and the need to cum. I loved how wet I was, the constant reminder that my pussy didn’t belong to me anymore. 

But most of all I loved the begging. To be so close to orgasm, and to want it so much that I would do anything for his permission to cum. To be completely at his mercy, mind empty apart from thoughts about cumming and pleasure and this strong need between my legs. And then trying to be concentrated enough to find good reasons why he should let me cum. And to beg like I never begged before.

Of course he always said no, and it was the best answer for me. I didn’t want to hear anything else. I asked him to deny me after all, and he loved to remind me that this was my fault. That I chose this frustration over cumming, that I trapped myself in this desperation. It might sound strange but it was actually freeing to be caught in this desperation. It allowed me to let go of my worries and focus on sex and pleasing him instead.

After 7 weeks I finally was allowed to orgasm. Just once, before he began denying me again!

My second denial was 102 days (about 15 weeks) long (yep, he is mean!), but I learned so much in those 22 weeks. About denial and my body (obviously), but also about myself and submission and BDSM in general. 

I think I’ll start with what I learned about denial. I learned that denial actually helps most people to be able to focus better on things, like work and other stuff. And that it opens you up, I was willing to try many things which I surely wouldn’t have tried when I hadn’t been denied. 

So the denial was the main reason for me to overcome my shyness and to just have fun. It gave me so much energy, and it made me so happy to have this wonderful man deny me. 

I bought toys because of him, and if you don’t own a vibe yet go and buy one! It will change your life. Seriously. I own the vibe from lovehoney with the different patterns which he recommended in that one ask-answer (Rocks off vibes, ideally the USB 80mm one currently on sale). The one with the 3 short:1 long vibration pattern. I hate and love this pattern, I want to stare him to death when he tells me to use this one, and (James, please don’t read the next sentence) at the same time I never want to be allowed to use another one. Having permission to cum but not being able to is so hot.

Anyway, the denial taught me things about my body too. Due to the constant edging I learned more about my body, what I like and what I don’t like, and how to tell if I’m close to cumming. I actually slipped over a lot in those 22 weeks. I always ruined it, but it’s still kind of disobedient, because I had a ruined orgasm without permission. But I learned that it’s okay to slip over, just because it can happen and I didn’t do it on purpose. I learned to listen to my body signals more, and I learned to stay on the edge for longer. I’m still pretty bad at it, but I’m not denied at the moment, so I practise cumming instead.

The denial gave me a new awareness of my body too. James always told me that I’m beautiful, but I didn’t believe him. I didn’t like my breasts and my body in general and most of all I hated my face. And this new body awareness actually helped me to accept and even like my body. I learned that just being a woman can be a powerful weapon, and if this woman likes herself and her body, others start to like it too. And I can feel it, I can feel how guys turn when I walk through the city. I always tried to avoid eye contact, as it made me feel uncomfortable, but my time with James changed that too. I look them in the eyes and smile a little. I’m not a bitchy girl, I never was, but I actually enjoy this feeling of loving my own body. It took me 6 months to get there, but it changed for me. That’s maybe what I love most, and what I’m most grateful for.

I could tell you so much more about what denial taught me, but I think this is long enough for now. If you have the possibility to try denial, and if you want to, don’t let fears or nervousness hold you back from trying it. It’s one of the best kinks out there, and it gives so much pleasure. I’m so glad and happy that I sent James that first shy message here on tumblr, asking if he could deny me.

Got a denial story to share? We’d all love to hear it. Submit it here, and include whether you’d like it to be anonymous or not. 

PS Please do show your appreciation for those sharing by liking or even better commenting on it, and if you’d like to give Diva any feedback then either comment on the reblog or just send me a message and I’ll pass it on.

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