orgasm-denial-journal:

No clients or work this morning.  I slept with no alarm clock to rest my denial crazed body.  

Before this edging challenge, I didn’t even know this was a thing … the crazed body reaction and hazy brain feeling from edging.

Drowsily remembering the edging test my Dom friend gave me yesterday, edging before leaving my bed was prolonged and the most viscerally delightful of any prior edge.  It was the closest I’ve come to having the forbidden orgasm.

Does the mindfuckery of orgasm denial grow any less as the number of days of edging increases?  

Edging has moved from being part of my day to being the central feature.  No balance.  I like balance.  I love edging.  

I cried this morning when I stopped the edge just in time to not orgasm.  I am longing for that physical release while desperate to not screw up the challenge in a moment lacking self control.    

The steady arousal is seducing me with its tenacious grip on me.  

This steady arousal is addicting.  

This steady arousal is torture.  

Again, this bizarre thought of the air fucking me.  Getting shoved up against the wall involuntarily and being fucked until I cum. 

Yes, the hazy craze of arousal is real, my friends.  Deliciously, painfully real.

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