I was SO ANGRY.
I woke up furious. At the challenge, at my feelings, at all the things I’d been trying to hold in but denial was bringing up.
I’ve had rage-sex, of course. Until today, I had never rage-fucked myself. Somehow resisting the urge to cum, although my whole body was screaming “fuck you, I come when I want”. I edged so hard I nearly cried.
And I was still angry.
A few hours later, during a walk, I managed to talk to James. I explained why I was feeling like this. Most of it had nothing to do with denial. I was just so angry. With the wind in my hair, and his words calming me down, I relaxed.
The anger slowly melted away.
I was still on a walk.
Behind a tree, out of sight from everyone except a squirrel, I edged so hard I can still feel it. I felt the ache all the way home.
I bought thin, long paint brushes.
I don’t paint.
Beautiful write up, well done sweetie.