Day 3, attempt 2. I think it’s good to keep a denial diary. It’s good to track how this makes me feel.
I’ve reached the denial high again. My migraine is mostly gone, and everything is hot again. I find myself accidentally grinding against things, just to feel something against my clit. It throbs, it aches, it feels amazing, all the time. I just constantly want to be touching it. Of course, I can’t. Not just because I have an office to run, but also because it’s no touch day today.
One soft edge, with the shower head, this morning turned me on more than I should have. “I WANT TO CUM”, I complained in a message to @female-orgasm-denial. Of course I don’t mean it.
This is the high then; it’s excruciating, but I love it. Please don’t let me cum. Please make it worse.
Grinding things like my pillow, the edge of the bed, the corner of a table, is making me feel humiliated. Luckily, humiliation turns me on.
I’ve rubbed my clit against worse things. But that’s a story for another day.
What worries me about today, is that I’ve reached this high before, last time I tried it. I am scared that I will drop again tomorrow. What if it is only fun for three days for me? I want to make it more than five days this time. It’s okay to keep trying, as long as I keep breaking my record.
I feel bad for still posting juNO updates, because, to be honest, I don’t think I’m committing to not cumming for 30 days. Only to not cumming… without his permission. That permission might not be forthcoming for another month. Or two months.
Or it might be next week.
I’m taking it day by day. Still, I hope people enjoy the updates. Appreciate that I’m trying, so hard. And I want to, need to cum, but today, I love that feeling more than what an orgasm would feel like.
Please. Don’t let me cum.
Don’t worry, I won’t.