in-heart-and-soul:

I’ve been home with a migraine all day. It’s better than it was this morning, but I’m still tired. I have to admit it’s made me less horny, but maybe that’s a blessing.

This time around, it feels different. Last time, there was a constant voice in my head saying “you don’t have to do this. You can stop whenever you want. Your orgasms are still yours.”

This time, I have James’s help. I very calmly said “I would like that very much, sir” when he offered his help, and didn’t scream “omg yes please, please help me”. Somehow it makes it easier. I feel submissive now, and I want to be a good girl.

Good girls don’t cum.

Today, I’ve been plugged and stuffed. I’ve fucked myself in bed, in the shower, on the floor. I flogged my pussy and clamped my nipples. I won’t repeat the things he said to me, but I felt deeply submissive. I wanted to please. I said it out loud: my orgasms are yours now. Please make it worse. Please don’t let me cum. And then, my headache came back.

“It’s nap time now”, he said, and I felt little and cared for, which I’ve missed, so much.

“Yes… sir”, I said. I very, very nearly said daddy, if only because being put down for a nap puts me right into little space. Still, “sir” felt more appropriate. I’m more submissive than little anyway – it’s just a tiny, not very important part of my kink.

I napped with both holes stuffed. When I woke up, I took the dildo and the butt plug out, and I cleaned both. My holes felt sore and used.

I put clean panties on, and started doing chores in high heels, as instructed.

The new panties are soaked again. I see a lot of laundry in my future.

I feel good. Happy. My clit is throbbing, and I can’t stop touching, but this is how I want to be: denied, desperate, dripping. This challenge is getting inside my head now. It’s about more than just not cumming now. It’s about being a good, obedient girl.

My orgasms don’t belong to me. All is well.

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