A month ago, I started this denial road of no return, and since then, there are a lot of tiny interesting physical changes happening….
First, all that fucking nudity. I’m never completely naked. I don’t mind and is not shy on showing skin but the one piece of clothes that I usally have is underware. It’s as like a mental civilization reminder for me. Until now. I was doing a task and it required to be completely naked, at least at home. It shows that good girls not only do not cum but also are always ready. Clothes are for other worthy people. So off everything goes. And somehow I can’t make myself to put them back on unless absolutely nessesary…now, after a month of nothing, when I have to go outside, I’m so much more aware of the materials touching my nipples, pussy and clit. I feel so guilty having underware on….
Second, all that fuck pussy juice. I can get really wet when I’m aroused. But I can’t get aroused that easy. Usually, if my libido is not high, there have to be very long foreplay or I need to watch porn for a long while. Now, few touches, some grabbing, licking, sucking and I can glide throught the fucking universe. My man is loving it, thinking he has finally triggered something. Well, between you and me, ssshhh.
Third, always fucking HORNY. Like my libido, unless my cycle is high, I’m not a horny person. Maybe few days in a month max would I fell the need to make myself cum. After the second week into denial, my clit is not mine anymore, it’s on it’s own and does what ever it feels like. Today, I was picking up dishes when I realised after a few seconds I’m humping the table corner. I needed to seriouly grab for the door to avoid humping the bed corner… I’m horny and everything can trigger it. And I don’t know if I like this or hate this feeling anymore. I’m just horny and confused and I have to use every fiber in my body to focus on daily tasks…
Fourth, all the fucking words. I can read. Now I wish I couldn’t. (No, I take it back. I love reading…) Everything related to the world of denial can make my clit throb. ‘On edge, edging, riding, moan, rubbing, toothpaste, deny, no, please, task, sir, yes….’ Just to list a few. And my clit just throbbed as I was typing these in.
Fifth, all the fucking confusion. I’m confused, my body is confused. I’m horny. Horny for being touched, horny for being abandoned. I want to edge my self constantly to be on the tipping point to get the high. Then I realized, no touching makes my even hornier and mentally fucked and on the edge of tipping over. I don’t know if I should touch myself or not anymore. I’m just horny-stupefied and in denial confusion for a week now and it’s not getting clear. I find myself the other day before getting to bed with my hand hovering my pussy. I’m aroused and wet already without touching and forcing my self to not touch my clit almost made my cum right there and then….
I’m wet from just writing this. And my clit has been throbbing since I’m wrote about the ‘fourth…’. My heart rate is higer and I’m blushing….
I don’t think I can turn back or stop this game anymore, and it’s not a game anymore either…
What an amazing description of the effects of ongoing denial. And I see she’s just joined up for JuNO too, yay!