Well that really is an interesting question. Let me ponder that for a moment.

Okay, pondering done. So, first and foremost it’s about inspiration. I’ll meander through tumblr the way it’s so beautifully designed to let you do, from blog to blog as the wind takes me, and then I’ll see it, an image that just cries out for a story, a caption to take the reader deeper into it, to bring it to life.

The words just tend to tumble out of me at that point. Sometimes short, sometimes longer – I’ll rarely edit, just do a single read through to fix the inevitable typos. And then off it goes, for your delectation.

As I do that, and most of all when I reply to your lovely asks I guess I’m wearing a few different hats. 

My first hat is as advocate of the joys and benefits of orgasm denial. I really do think it’s an exceptionally positive and life affirming kink, that almost anyone can enjoy and benefit from.

Beyond that, I hope I demonstrate that you can be a dom without being an asshole. A personal bugbear of mine is the proliferation of complete dicks claiming to be dominants when really they’re just abusive shit bags who see it as an easy way to get pussy. As you may have seen, this annoys me somewhat. The number of girls I get coming to me who have had bad experiences with these wannabe fake doms outnumbers those who haven’t, I’m sad to say. I want to show there’s a better way and to raise expectations so those douches don’t do so much harm in future.

Thirdly, I write and respond with the girls I’m lucky enough to be teaching or training or domming in mind, drawing on what I’ve learnt from them and using what I know turns them on to improve my writing.

Lastly, and apologies this’ll weird some of you out. I sometimes do a final sanity check by thinking would I be cool with my daughter, when she’s old enough, reading what I’ve written. I know right… but it’s kind of my benchmark for am I giving good advice or should I rethink this before I hit ‘post’. 

So there you go, interesting ask, thanks!

James – the dad of denial (don’t even fucking dare use that ever again, it’s a joke)

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