Archive for : October, 2019

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How to give Cunnilingus like a Superstar

Discover the two new secret techniques only just found in a secret Amazonian love manual (not really, just what I find works…)

Now downgraded with educational illustrations to meet Tumblr guidelines.

I was asked this week for tips on how to go down on a woman and when I read it back I thought I’d write it up as a post as most of advice I’ve seen online is pretty lame.

Essentially there are two basic moves which if you learn will make you a Cunnilingus master (/mistress?). There’s lots more you CAN do but one of the big mistakes bad pussy eaters make is doing too much and trying to be too fancy. If ever an activity merited KISS (Keep It Simple, Stupid) it’s oral sex.

In five simple words, ‘It’s all about the clit’

I was also inspired by a fabulous video which I’ll link to at the bottom of this ridiculously long post for something I just said was simple…

I’ve taken a few gifs from it to illustrate my points.  It’s a great video, there’s none of that usual porn fakery, it’s just hot and intimate and shows how you go down on a woman if your intention is to make it as good as possible.

Oral Sex 101

So there’s a lot of nonsense talked about oral sex, stupid stuff like alphabet’s on the clit etc. There are only two basic moves you need to know to drive a woman crazy and make her cum (or just edge her, of course, this is an orgasm denial blog). Everything else is you do down there is to tease her, add a little variety and take breaks so your tongue doesn’t get worn out.

You can practise them on the pad of a finger because the first in particular is genuinely tiring – if you’re not practised your tongue will get tired out. Expect to be able to do it for maybe ten minutes* without regular practise. But get in a bit of practise and you can do it for an hour or more, no kidding. 

Even better grab a denial buddy and get to practise!

(Yes, I hear some of you screaming ‘TEN MINUTES, I wish I got even ONE’. Give them this to read, stop being so subtle and tell them what you want, and be prepared to reciprocate…)

Technique 1 – The Clit Swirl

For this you need to be pressed pretty firmly on her, you’re right in there. The video I’ve giffed from starts just like this. but as she warms up you can back off a bit and give yourself some space to breathe.

Let’s go over a little bit of pussy geography here, assuming nothing:

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This is above her vagina, the pussy lips (labia) come together at the top and there on the left image we see the top triangle which is the clitoral hood, on the right it’s pulled back and the clitoris itself is exposed. This can be pulled gently with a finger or thumb, or often as she gets more aroused that’ll happen naturally as her clit swells up a bit from being so aroused.

How it looks down there on women varies just as much as cocks do on men (and seeing as you’re on Tumblr I’m pretty sure you know what a huge variety they come in…). So for some women the clit will be bigger and exposed all the time, for others it’ll be little and hidden away. Either way if you get your tongue in there and do this it’ll feel amazing.

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You can do this through the clit hood, and that’s a good way to start if she’s sensitive or you want to build up a tease. But in most cases you want to get your tongue directly on her clit, but be gentle in the transition and build slowly. Your tongue is the softest, wettest thing you could stimulate her clit directly with, so that’s why it works so well, but it might be that’s just too much in which case you can use this technique purely through the clit hood throughout.

So what you actually do – with your mouth against her mound you simply run the tip of you tongue around and over her clit. You can lick the tip itself but also swirling all the way around it in circles with the tip of your tongue is the winner (hence the name).

In the video she’s doing more of an up and down lick and that’s fine but circles is best. You can push pretty firmly with your tongue as you go in circles and often it’s the case that the sides of a clit are super pleasurable, not just the front (quite a few women vibe the side of their clit not the top because it feels better). So circling gets ALL the sensations in there, up and down licking doesn’t. Both is fine, but absolutely key to good cunnilingus is keeping a regular rhythm and your tongue swirling around and around is what feels best.

You have loads of options to vary what you’re doing with this. From speed of the circles, to the pressure you use, and how you actually lick. You can do it with your tongue stuck right out or your mouth pressed hard against them, just keep that tongue swirling!

Part of the joy of going down on someone is hearing and FEELING them respond to the tiniest little changes you make. In terms of edging you can hear from the noises they are making, but much more from the tension in their muscles, just how close they are, and then you slow, deliciously slow circles that keep them right on the edge but not going over. By varying firmness and speed you can keep them right on that edge.

They’ll start to lose it, maybe begging, grabbing your hair, pushing your face harder into them. But your neck and back muscles are much stronger than their arms,and you can hold off as long as you want. They can’t even get to themselves, you’re blocking them, and of course they don’t want it to stop, so they’ll often end up grabbing their own breasts, just trying to take themselves over.

Okay, so to summarise, Clit Swirling technique is simply firm circles on and around her clit. that brings us to:

Technique 2 – The Clit Suck’n’Flick

So the second move is a little more technical and it doesn’t feel quite as good as the clit circles, but it still feels amazing and the huge bonus of it is you can do it for fucking ages. Swirling really gets tiring, the Suck’n’Flick is what you revert to when you get tired so it keeps her stimulated and you don’t have to stop.

This is important because part of the joy of receiving cunnilingus is getting it for a long time. It’s like a foot rub or massage, you never really want it to end. So if you can build stamina and alternate techniques so you can do it for a long time she will adore you for it.

This technique works better once she’s getting aroused and her clit will usually be a bit more prominent and easy to get to. You need to nuzzle right in on this one, pursing your lips into an O-shape and gently sucking her clit into your mouth. 

The sucking itself is nice but it’s what you do with your tongue once you’ve got it in your mouth that really feels amazing. 

Suck her clit in with your teeth open enough to let it through so that the front of your teeth are pushing down gently above and below her clit and actually making her clit stick out more (the same as if you pushed two fingers down either side of your clit when you pull your clit hood back). 

Then, as you gently suck you flick your tongue up and down in fast movements – this adds to the suction AND rubs the tip of her clit as you do it. It’s the same movement you make if you’re trying to suck a thick milkshake up a straw where your tongue flicks up and down to add that extra suck. You don’t have to do it THAT hard but you get the idea. 

You can practise on the pad of a finger, or even just with your mouth closed, sucking and moving your tongue up and down against the back of your teeth (your mouth will fill with saliva due to the suction if you’re doing it right).

Again, you can vary speed, strength of suck, even a gentle squeeze with your teeth if she’s very aroused. Figure out what works best for her by having a little variety and THEN KEEP ON DOING IT.

Only when she’s on the edge do you want to start really messing with her and deliberately keeping her teased and pleasured.

This also is THE move to do on someone’s nipples. Particularly with the teeth a little closer together so you’re pulling the nipples through and against them. And again, you can do it for AGES.

Then it’s a case of alternating those two, the licking is where you have the greatest control and will usually feel the best, but not only does it get tiring quite fast, the same thing done all the time will always lose impact. So you move to the suck’n’flick which you can maintain much longer and uses different muscles, and then back to the swirling to take her even closer.

You can also have your mouth open for the swirling, so you can take deeper breaths. The sucking means you’re limited to just breathing through your nose which is kind of pushed up against her so breathing is a bit less easy.

So those are the two basic moves! Practising, building up stamina and simply switching between the two will make you a pussy eating master.

Bonus Techniques

Variety is great, so adding things like long slow licks is very good but don’t do it too much unless you’ve got her right to the edge, it soon gets annoying as you break her progress towards an orgasm.

See how she gets right back into licking then sucking from a long lick. This is perfect. 

Think about how you masturbate. You don’t do lots of different stuff to make it interesting, you do the same thing again and again till you edge or cum.

Pretty much everything you do down there is nice, don’t get me wrong (although the pulling on her labia with your mouth is very subjective, some like it, lots don’t).

But if you want her climbing the fucking walls, screaming with pleasure, worshipping the ground you walk on then your objective is to get her close to cumming and keep her there. THAT is where she can completely lose it. THAT is where what you are doing feels better than anything else she can imagine. And that edge is where you can do other things like light kisses, teasing licks, even little bites because she is in a completely different place, mind and body. Everything feels amazing.

Do NOT hurry to make her cum, if you’re going to let her cum at all that is. Obviously this is one of the most amazing ways to be edged you can imagine.

Getting your hands involved

So at this point the most your hands might have done is touch, stroke and help open her up a little.

The other way you can use them is if your mouth is getting tired just move back a little and let your fingers take over, rubbing her clit and keeping her in the zone. It’s very like a blow job really, we don’t really care if you’re using hands or mouth or whatever, just keep it feeling great and we’ll count it all as a world class BJ.

You can deliberately stop and use fingers though, stroking them over her mound, giving a contrast to what you have been doing. But don’t stop too long, she wants your mouth back there.

There’s a few great things you can do with your hands to add to the experience.

Firstly you can finger fuck her at the same time. Making sure you don’t scratch with your nails, slide one or two fingers in her pussy, start slow and teasing but work towards rubbing her g-spot (tummy side, 5-10 centimetres in). If you don’t know where it is, talk as you rub deeper. She’ll feel a pleasure surge and often the need to pee when you hit the spot. She does NOT need to pee, keep rubbing and that will fade and just feel incredible – in fact, keep rubbing and she’ll often want to squirt)

Another thing to do with your hands is lube a finger and as she’s close, slide it in her bum. 

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Peekaboo!

Don’t do this out of nowhere! Establish beforehand she’s into it or even if she isn’t, that you’re going to try it when she’s close to cumming. The reason is that anal play transforms when you’re close to cumming, so even if you don’t like it normally you may find you love a finger stuck in your bum right then, as it feels so naughty and good. Condom on a finger is the easy way to not even think about associated worries. Lots, lots of lube.

Oh, and you can even do the double:

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All was going well until Tracey lost one of her nails…

If you can reach, and especially if her hands are tied, reach up and play with her nipples while you lick and suck her. Mind blowing. Mix in a few strong squeezes of her breasts too. It feels like the tension builds and then the squeezes release it, it’s great.

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Dude, stop jacking off and get that other hand up here too! Focus man!

If her hands aren’t tied the other thing I love to do is hold her hands, feeling her grip me hard as I get it just right, but then also holding her, maybe by the wrists as I edge her and she wants to cum, unable to do anything about it. If you let her go she’ll push your face and grind against it like a bitch in heat. But as I said, you’re still in control, you can lick and suck as softly as you want and she’ll be helpless but to take what you give her.

Personally, it’s at this point I’ll often stop, move up her body and slide my cock in her and fuck her while she’s right on the edge. Having a penis makes this easier but it’s not essential.

At this point let’s just give a little shout out to analingus. Assuming she’s clean as a whistle (and not showering before getting oral is frankly rude, whatever type it is) then when she’s really into it, moving down and licking around and on her asshole is extraordinary. 

It’s a mix of good sensations (there are lots of pleasure never endings there, second only to the clit) but it’s just how fucking naughty it is too, the ultimate in intimacy. You’re licking her arsehole for god’s sake! It’s also a great one after she’s cum once or twice as the whole area is incredibly sensitive and it will blow her mind. This is one you could surprise her with (you only really do it to the outside so it’s not as intrusive) but perhaps find some posts of it and run it by her another time when you’re edging her before you try.

If I’m really in the mood for it I’ll flip her over and make that the focus for a while. It’s a great position to do some tongue fucking from too, just pushing your tongue in and out (either hole…). Again, squeaky clean for this people, we don’t want cross contamination.

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I can’t believe he’s got his tongue there but OMG it feels so good!

Tongue fucking never feels that good (maybe my tongue just isn’t long enough) but it’s very intimate and is a nice thing to throw in occasionally. The best thing is to just show you’re enjoying it. She can FEEL your moans and groans as you lick and suck there, so let her hear and feel how good you think she tastes, leave no doubt!

Different positions

So the above ideas have mainly assumed she’s lying back and you’re lying between her legs. And that’s great. In fact a twist on that is you not lying, but kneeling on the floor and her with her bottom near the edge. Being like that just gives you better angles for pretty much everything as long as your knees don’t get sore.

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The other thing this allows you to do better is make eye contact. This is so important for good sex but obviously trickier with oral sex. So however you’re positioned, try to connect that way sometimes, even if it’s just to enjoy the look of pure pleasure you’re giving them.

Of course the main switch is to go 69:

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Cunnilingus is definitely harder upside-down (whereas a blowjob often works as well or better that way up). Her pussy is further away, and her clit isn’t so easily exposed. But as you see here (and watch much more in the video) the same works pretty damn well. Licking and sucking her clit is where it’s all at. The bonus is she is able to give back. If you’re a guy doing this, normally best to be on the bottom unless she likes you fucking her face and not really paying attention.

A nice variation is the sideways 69, kinda like this:

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First one to cum is the other one’s pussy bitch, 1, 2, 3, GO!

Tease and build up

So I’ve covered most of what you need to know and you really can (muff) dive right in with what I’ve given you above. A little rubbing with your fingers and some kissing and you can ‘go down like a pro’ with the two main techniques and then build the rest.

However, if you’ve got more time then a teasing build up is very easy. For example, start with her clothed, kissing and rubbing through layers of clothing, till she’s down to just panties. Then kiss and nibble from her feet or ankles all the way up to her mound, kissing and pushing against it until she’s begging you to take them off, and then more kissing and licking around and over her pussy doing it everywhere but where she wants it most.

Then a long lick up her labia, telling her how good she tastes, a tip of a tongue sliding up between her lips to flick her clit, then a little more, and back, kissing, even your breath on her as she gets more and more worked up. 

Then finally giving her longer tastes of what you can do until you’re fully into it.

Being vocal is a big part of this throughout. It doesn’t have to be talking, although telling her how good she looks and tastes down there is always a winner. It’s more just making sounds to show you’re enjoying it. Yes, you can go a little porn star with this one (that’s why they do it…) have fun moaning and groaning as you eat her out – she not only hears it but can feel it too.

If you’re new to this then make sure you get her to tell you what feels good, and what doesn’t. It’s a joint exploration. But if she goes quiet it’s usually a good thing, tension in her body and her hands will confirm you’ve got it just right.

The finale

This is an orgasm denial blog, so I should really point out you don’t need to let her cum. In my opinion there is no better way to edge a woman than with your mouth. You’re so in touch with all she’s doing, her breathing, the noises she makes, the tension in her abdomen and legs and hands grabbing at you. You can pretty soon learn to read them and keep her right on the edge with the merest hint of a suck and lick, indefinitely. 

My wife has a very mixed reaction when I go down on her because as much as she loves it, she also knows if I want I can have her sobbing with frustration and leave her edged so hard she can’t even think. Glorious.

The one failing in the video I’ve taken the clips from is she doesn’t take her over into orgasm with her mouth. Position and technique failed her there and her partner had to finish herself off.

You don’t want this.

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If you’re going to take her over then it’s most likely the first technique, hard fast circles with the tip of your tongue that will take her over, if it wasn’t, switch to it as that’s what you want to be doing as she cums. The suck’n’flick is a little too aggressive for the actual orgasm (although if you’re going for post orgasm torture it’s perfect, but she better be tied down or you’re going to get hit, hard!).

Be VERY aware she’s about to get incredibly sensitive. You have maybe 2-5 seconds of doing that hard before you need to start to ease off. Not stop, just back off to much more gentle, indirectly kissing and licking, or switch to gentle finger strokes as you regain eye contact and enjoy totally blissed out look on her face. Experience will vary, this one is for you to figure out.

The video I keep talking about:

I made the gifs from this original video on Tumblr, I can’t find where it’s originally from unfortunately but this is the post I found it in:

https://tightpussytx.tumblr.com/post/156410707756/suck-my-clit-like-this-and-ill-do-whatever-you (LINK UPDATED to work again)

Do it yourself?

Unless you’re remarkably bendy then getting these sensations are going to involve toys I’m afraid.

Amazingly it appears sex toys manufacturers have finally figured out how to reproduce oral sex. So if you don’t currently have someone to do this to you then it’s worth checking out the ‘Clitoral Stimulators’. The two main brands are the Satisfyer and the dreadfully named but well reviewed Womanizer clitoral stimulators.

Those are all available from Lovehoney – I’ve added a page with Lovehoney’s latest offers, deals and discount codes so hopefully you can save some money too.

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Alternatively get a friend, read this and practise on each other. It’s a lot cheaper, and way more fun.

I hope this helps!

Love and licks, 

James

Find out more about techniques, edging and orgasm denial at my blog:
female-orgasm-denial.tumblr.com – the interwebs’s number 1 orgasm denial blog (apparently) 

And visit our new site with ALL our uncensored content at edging.space

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edging.space now up and running

But this is actually a test to see if it can post automatically to Tumblr…
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The Invitation

It doesn’t interest me
what you do for a living.
I want to know
what you ache for
and if you dare to dream
of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me
how old you are.
I want to know
if you will risk
looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me
what planets are
squaring your moon…
I want to know
if you have touched
the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened
by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know
if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know
if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you
to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations
of being human.

It doesn’t interest me
if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear
the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know
if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live
or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me
who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me
where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know
what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know
if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like
the company you keep
in the empty moments.

By Oriah Mountain Dreamer

Apparently, this remarkable poem became widely known a couple of decades back but it’s the first time I’ve read it, and I love it.

When someone asks me to help them explore edging and orgasm denial it’s often the start of an extraordinary journey, one which ends up opening them up to address all kinds of things in their lives, both things they want to be, and things they want to leave behind. Edging, and the openness and power it brings, often make that journey easier. 

As much fun as falling down the rabbit hole is what’s most exciting is it can lead you to Wonderland. There’s nothing I love more than to help someone find their Wonderland.

Consider yourself invited.

James

The advanced blow job techniques programme was much more practical than she’d imagined. She couldn’t wait to try it out at the pool.

First time accidental denial

I had never ever tried denial, I had only read about it on your blog and I was very curious but never got around to doing it. Today while I was masturbating, I was talking to a guy and I couldn’t orgasm. I could feel it, it was RIGHT THERE. But I couldn’t orgasm and the feeling was so overwhelming I couldn’t get up for 5 minutes. It’s been half an hour since this happened and I’m still reeling from that sensation. And I’m dripping wet, but too sensitive to touch and this feeling is maddening

Maddening, and oh so addictive.

It seems like you’re a natural. Have you been listening to some audios, if not, you should…

I’d start with this

https://soundcloud.com/user-178485999/brainwashededgeslut

Then maybe this

https://soundgasm.net/u/NeuralNets/Edge-Puppet

Oh and then definitely this old classic.

https://soundcloud.com/edgingspace/cals-curse-with-binaural-effects-erotic-orgasm-denial-hypnotic-recording

Let’s see how you’re doing by the end of the weekend.

Good girl(s don’t cum)

sinister-sadist:

POST-ORGASM SHAME: A Brief Essay

I think everyone is familiar with the experience of post-orgasm shame. Today I’d like to talk a little bit about it and suggest some ways that you can prevent it from ruining your personal sexual gratification.

Introduction

Post-orgasm shame is a common phenomenon whereby your head completely clears after you climax. Your mind goes from the gooey soupy mess of arousal to rapidly re-forming into its logical, reasonable state. You suddenly become aware of how kinky or taboo your thoughts were, and you feel full of guilt and embarrassment.

There are a lot of reactions you might have to this sudden onset of shame. You might uninstall the Tumblr app, for instance, or you might throw away the toys or clothes you bought especially for these kinds of masterbation sessions. You might even completely delete your blog and swear that you’ll never get off to that kind of twisted stuff again.

Only… you always come back. Sometimes it takes weeks, sometimes it takes a couple of days, sometimes it’s only a few hours between saying, “I’m done with that forever,” and, “One more time couldn’t hurt…”

It can be confusing and stressful to go through these cycles over and over again, and I personally don’t think it is good for your mental health. So I’ve come up with some tips to help you cope, ranging from mild to extreme in nature.

Method 1: Occupy Yourself with Something Else IMMEDIATELY

Post-orgasm shame is at its strongest immediately after you climax, so the best way to cope in the short-term is to remove yourself from a position where you could do something you might regret.

As soon as you are finished your orgasm, drop your phone, or close your laptop, or get up from the computer chair. Go into the bathroom and brush your teeth. Or head to the kitchen and make some food. Or grab your coat and take a walk.

If you stay in the spot you orgasmed, still holding your phone or looking at your computer screen, you have a MUCH higher chance of deleting your blog, or deactivating your Reddit account, or uninstalling Kik, or otherwise sabotaging your masterbation methods.

So to combat this, just get up and go do something else. By the time you’re done, your mind will be closer to its usual headspace and you won’t be as likely to go on a purge.

Method 2: You Can’t Have Post-orgasm Shame if You Never Orgasm

This concept is simple to grasp, but difficult to execute. Essentially, if you stop having orgasms you stop feeling that sudden drop in mood.

Edging is your friend here. If you want to try this method, you need to learn to love being horny. It takes a lot of willpower to play with yourself and stop short of climaxing every time.

However, there are a lot of added benefits. If you don’t cum when masturbating, it will make every touch exciting and intense. The longer you go without an orgasm, the more sensitive and wound up you will be. This can lead to having A LOT of fun when you play with yourself, and even more fun when you have a partner to play with.

Method 3: Accept Who You Are

This is the toughest of them all. Again, it’s simple to understand but incredibly hard to actually follow through with.

If you feel awful for masturbating to a certain thought, or type of porn, the only way to truly overcome it is to embrace that aspect of yourself. If you constantly deny yourself, telling yourself, “This is wrong,” then you will never be free of the shame.

However, if you take the mental leap and confront it, you will find comfort in your acceptance. You need to look yourself in the mirror and say, “Hey. I like this stuff. It doesn’t make me a bad person. It doesn’t mean I’m disgusting, or gross, or a sicko. It’s just what turns me on, it’s what I like to think about when I’m in private. It’s okay to have kinky fantasies.”

It’s very difficult to admit this to yourself, and if you are someone who has already done this, I wholeheartedly congratulate you.

Conclusion

With this post I have tried to explain post-orgasm shame, and I’ve given some suggestions on how to lessen its impact.

I hope you have found this post helpful in some way. Everyone should feel comfortable with their own interests and desires, and I hope my suggestions can help some of you to achieve that.

edginggirlchallenges:

Like & reblog..

desperateanddenied:

Let’s play

Okay, so Master has decided that

For every reblog of this post I get an extra day of orgasm denial.

For every comment I must slap wherever the comment instructs, if it doesn’t say, I slap my pussy.

For every like this post gets I must tease myself for an hour. (This means feather light and slowly touching my clit, I can play with my tits, and no pentration) if that day isn’t a denial day, I may orgasm once that day by master.

If this goes on long enough and it amuses master, he may start getting me to write a denial diary

Okay, I haven’t reblogged one of these in a while. Let’s see what happens…

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