Archive for : April, 2019


Permission granted

“Call me. I want to hear you beg.”

His voice is calming like the sea, but equally dangerous. I’m weak when I hear him. He takes all my anxiety away.

I call him and I close my eyes.

“Please can I cum?”

“I’m not sure you really want to,” he says. I pout. “I’m not really sure I want to either,” I say. I’m already edging. After two months into denial I’ve become scared of cumming. Staying needy and wet is safe, familiar. An orgasm feels scary. But I’m really desperate. He can hear the wand and I quietly moan.

“Come on. You can get closer than that.”

I get closer and closer until I think I can’t hold it anymore, and he pulls me back. “Control your breathing. If you go over now, you’re ruining it.”

I whine, but pull back a little.

“Maybe I should just ruin you anyway.”

“Noooo, please, I want to cum.”

“What you want isn’t always what’s best for you.”

I want whatever he wants. If he tells me to stop now, I will cry but obey. I’ll do anything for him.

I get to the edge again. I get louder and more desperate and I start to beg again.

“Hmm, that’s better. Stay here for a bit.”

“Please, please, please let me cum, please Sir.”

“Shh, be quiet, I’m writing an email.”

I don’t know if he’s serious or not. The idea of him multitasking while making me beg turns me on and also annoys me. I don’t know how to feel. I go quiet.

“Stay on the edge,” he warns. “If you lose it, we’re stopping.”

I edge harder again. I get closer but try to stay quiet. It’s harder to go over like this. I’m not as close as I should be but I beg quietly, struggling to control myself and struggling to edge hard like this too.

“Good girl,” he says. “Cum for me now.”

But I’m not ready, I’m not close enough, and I panic. I press the wand down hard but he can hear that I’m not there yet.

“Come on. I told you to cum.”

I whine and moan. He can hear my desperation, I know he can, and I can hear the enjoyment in his voice. I’m scared he’ll take it away again. I think he did it on purpose.

“Don’t you want to cum? If you don’t, we’re stopping.”

He starts to count down from 10. It scares me but also helps me.

When he gets to four, I finally go over, and I scream. I haven’t cum in nearly two months. I’ve ruined every single time I’ve gone over. I don’t stop this time, with his voice in my ear. It’s amazing and entirely overwhelming. My clit isn’t used to this anymore. It hurts.

He stops counting. “Is that you cumming? Good girl.”

I cum hard, and as soon as it ends I want to cum again. I’m both grateful and scared when he tells me to turns the wand up to maximum.

I moan and scream and cry while he keeps talking. Good girl. Yes, this is what I wanted. Don’t stop. Harder.

I can’t respond, only scream, but I love everything he says.

I have three… maybe four orgasms. I nearly choke. I cry and try to stop. I beg him to let me stop but he tells me I can cum more. It hurts but it feels amazing.

When he finally tells me that’s enough, my heart is racing. He says sweet, loving things while I try to recover.

Finally, happy and pleased and thankful, I purr: “thank you, Sir.”

“You’re very welcome, sweetie.”

I love cumming. I want to do it again.

Wonderful, and very accurate account, well done sweetie.

But as for cumming again, wasn’t it the fact that it’d been two months that made it so good?

I wonder how it’d be after four…

Can we just appreciate how beautiful and sexy your answer about ruined orgasms is? Like wtf, my love for ruins just got ten times bigger (and I already loved them). If I just had someone to ruin my orgasms for me.. Thanks for existing.

You’re so welcome, thank you! Always great to hear lovely feedback.

I have a fantasy I want to share with you and your followers James! I don’t know why but I just want to tell someone about it. I’m a lesbian, and I practice self denial, but I have a crazy fantasy of a straight girl. Any girl, but a straight girl who controls me and my orgasms. Maybe she has a boyfriend, or different partners, but the thought of her denying me and using me for her pleasure is just so hot, especially when I know she’s straight and not attracted to me. Just thought I’d share :)

I adore that! Damn I love it when you guys share your fantasies like this. Not only are they so hot to read but they encourage everyone that it’s good and healthy to have them, and even better to share them, and it’s just so good for your mind and sex life to be exploring hot inventive fantasies like this.

I am imagining she’s your close friend. The one you had a crush on, well you still do, and oh god it’s only going to get worse now she controls your orgasms.

You figured you’d share your secret, maybe she’d open up, god maybe she’d even try it. And maybe, just maybe her super horny denied self might not be so uptight and straight, literally – something might happen.

But oh shit, that uptightness, turns out, the bitch is a natural domme. Your plan completely fails to get her into you, and instead fans the flames of her dominance. Every detail of your edging and denial pour out of your mouth and before you know your orgasms are hers.

She can’t wait to get back and tell her boyfriend everything, while you start on your first edge.

You are so fucked.

How can I best communicate to my LD Dom that I actually love denial. Of course I want to cum, and not having an orgasm is torture, but it makes me wild when he says no. It makes me feel alive with constant sexual desire, it makes me fem like I would do “anything” to earn that orgasm. Do Doms want their subs to enjoy denial, to admit enjoying being at their master’s mercy? What’s the best way to say it?

I tend to advocate the ‘cumming is good, but not cumming is so much better’ approach especially with the daddy dom type who tend towards the kind side of kink..

Keep it all positive. From a dom’s perspective giving you orgasms is often quite a power trip and watching you completely lose it as we make you cum is incredible, so for many it is a bit of a struggle to get their head around you wanting that to stop.

But straight out saying it, often in terms of ‘do you think we could try something?’ can quickly convince them that as great as watching you cum is, not letting you is so much hotter. The way you act when you’re insatiably horny, how you lose it, not just for seconds but all the time, the fact it brings your submissiveness to a new level. Once he tastes those fruits it’s a much easier sell.

So yes, the ‘try something’ line is a great starting point. And once that goes well there’s a few resources you can use. One is I’ve written a letter just for this scenario, which I now can’t find on Tumblr as the search is so crap now so here’s it reposted to my ‘blog in progress’:

The other resources as I mentioned in the last reply is that my entire back catalogue of kinky shit is now on so if you can encourage him to read that, get turned on by it, even play and pleasure him while he reads it, well, you my dear follower are monumentally fucked. 

Just the way you want it.

Hope that helps,


I just ruined my orgasm 😩 ive never been so unsatisfied. But it was well worth it! My clit is throbbing w pleasure !

Good work, what a great letter to start my replies to (OMG MY INBOX!). 

All my old posts from here that got banned have now been uploaded to my account, so you can dig into all my writings on the joys of ruined orgasms here:

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Well goodness, it’s been ages! How are you?

Hello my lovely followers!

A combination of work, a big holiday and then all kinds of fun with Tumblr’s Two Factor authentication (pro tip – it keeps your account so safe even you can’t access it) means I haven’t posted in forever. But I missed you guys so much!

Give me a day or so to catch up with all your messages and I’ll be back in action here and also on bdsmlr and we’ll get back to answering your questions and giving you as much edging fodder as I can come up with (and there’s loads!)

All my love