Archive for : April, 2018


There’s just something great about admitting something humiliating. Telling them out loud that you enjoy _________ even though you feel embarrassed and disgusting. The waves of heat and humiliation, the way your head goes fuzzy and you feel submissive and happy. 

This is one of the hottest mindfucks that denial and edging can bring about. 

Bringing you right to the edge, and whispering questions into your ear, making you tell me those things that no one else knows, those secret desires and fantasies that you’ve rubbed and rubbed and cum to for years.

The thrill, the fear, the arousal, finally confessing, and being told it’s good.

But that’s just the start. 

Now they aren’t just your fantasies any more. They’re mine. And if just thinking about them turned you on, imagine how it’ll be now, your deepest desires, turned back to you, no longer under your control. Twisted, enhanced, expanded. 

So exposed, and all the better for it.

And you still won’t get to cum.

Got a secret to tell? Be a good girl, edge, edge hard. Then message me with it.

It’ll be in the strictest confidence, I promise.

Or send it as an anonymous ask and I’ll share it on the blog, and perhaps add my own little twists.

My Master put me on no touch for a month cos I broke the rules. I’m only 2 days in and I’m already going insane! Any help??? – Kat

Don’t break the rules in future.

You’re welcome!

hi james! i’m pretty new to denial but i’m finding that ruins are waaaay more pleasurable than orgasms. is that normal? ~your friendly neighborhood brat

It’s not. But hey, it’s pretty cool.

Now be a good girl and stop ruining, it counts as cumming for you and I want you desperate and wet and needy.

Well done.

I’m having sex for the first time new week because I’m ready emotionally and physically but want some advice on how I should go about trying to fit my boyfriend’s díck in my pussy when I can’t even get 2 fingers in their myself even after trying for so many years. HOW DO I GO ABOUT THIS?

Okay, I’m very glad you asked about this!

So look, not to get too personal but a lot depends on how big his cock is. The average cock size is about 6 inches. And if he’s around average size then as long as you take things slowly, get really excited first, and USE LUBE it’s going to be fine.

Lube makes your cherry pop so much sweeter

No really, just your wetness, or god forbid, spit, is NOT ENOUGH. Especially when you’re doing it for the first few times but honestly, lube always makes sex better (and is always essential for anal sex, ALWAYS).

Your pussy is designed for cock, if you’re relaxed, lubed and horny it’s going to be good. 

But let’s step away from the denial blog here, and get reading my tips on how to make the first time AWESOME

Follow those tips, and you can’t go far wrong. If your hymen is still intact there might be a little sharp moment of pain where that’s streched more, and even a little blood, from both that and just your vagina isn’t used to being fucked, yet… but that’s completely normal and your pussy, like your mouth, heals super fast and is literally designed for this, so go slow, have fun, and you’ll do great.

Unless, he has a monster cock. If he’s really well endowed then we just need to add a bit more to think about. Basically, it’s going to hurt. Hopefully not a lot, and hopefully, if you’ve done all the above, in that ‘good kinda hurt’ way. Some women actually totally love that feeling of being stretched, but you’re new to it so the big thing is to use EXTRA lube and go EXTRA slow. I mean, crazy good self control by him needed here not to just wham it in, In fact the best tip is just as I’d suggest with anal for anyone, you go on top for that first time. Lower yourself onto him as slowly as you want, and take it little by little, stretching and edging yourself as you go. If it hurts too much then just go for getting the head in and then give him a blow job for being so patient and try again another day.

If he is big btw, make sure to read my guide on blow jobs for big cocks

Two notes, if it continues to hurt, go see a doctor! It shouldn’t and doctors literally train to help you with this stuff. So be brave and don’t suffer, get it sorted.

Secondly, all this assumes you’re both being smart with both birth control (don’t be in this situation, ever) and safe sex. If you’re not, then you might be emotionally ready but you ain’t physically ready, so get it sorted first and make sure it’s a hot, fun and sexy first time.

Oh and tell us all about how it goes cos’ we’re all pervs here and we love hearing about it.

Oh and I’d be remiss if I didn’t add edging into the mix. Edging for a few days up to it would never be a bad thing, it’ll help you be at peak arousal when it’s all happening, which you’ll both enjoy.


Hey James, I’m really interested in the whole edging and denial thing. Just browsing your blog will get me really aroused. But I need some advice… I get off on the instructions part, but I feel like being denied doesn’t properly work on me. I’ll deny myself, but then I go on with my day and kind of forget about it. Do you have any suggestions on how to improve this?

It’s often a slow build up, so give it time, but also, it’s about frequency. Try squeezing in four edges in a day. One in bed or in the shower, another as a quickie at work perhaps, a third when you get home and a final longer one in bed.

It isn’t that you necessarily need to keep up that many, but it might be you need that intensity to kick it all off and get your body used to it and enjoying it. 

I was chatting with someone who messaged me this week and described it effectively as we’re putting you ‘in heat’, switching your body into how some women feel at oestrus (when you’re ovulating) when science shows behavioural changes in women, and the men around them, at that time.

A study of lap dancers provided the strongest evidence yet for the controversial idea that men can pick up when women are fertile and most likely to become pregnant. When naturally cycling lap dancers entered their fertile period they earned significantly more in tips…  

Holy shit I love research like that!

But beyond frequency, try some things that you know turn you on, or explore new things. My absolute favourite is you wearing underwear that makes you feel sexy, under your normal clothes. If you don’t have any, buy some, you will be amazed at the impact it has. This isn’t for anyone else, this is for YOU. So take some time out, go to some stores,and try on the stuff you’d never imagine buying before, and see what you like yourself in! And if you’ve never tried stockings and suspender belt (garter belt) then OMG do that now.

They are not only sexy as fuck, but kinky too. Kinky because they are so unnecessarily complicated. Just like that post from Stoya I put up, it’s about not just eating toasted cheese, but seeing if you enjoy pea mousse. Not because you need it, but because you can.

But the other surprise about stockings, is how practical they are! When I got my wife wearing them she was so annoyed at herself for not trying them before, because compared to tights (pantyhose) they are bliss to wear. And just FYI, when wearing for practical purposes, your knickers (if you’re wearing any) go on the OUTSIDE of the straps, so you can just go to the loo, pull them down, and pull them back up again without having to body-wrestle your way back into your pantyhose.

But beyond stockings, even a matching bra and knickers set really makes a difference to how you feel. Lots of followers of this blog are secretly kinky. No one knows just what a little sex monkey you are, or at least very few. And so secretly wearing sexy underwear under your every day clothes is the PERFECT way to enjoy that.

So buy some good lingerie and see how that improves it all, I bet you’ll be amazed. And yes, it’s an investment, so don’t go crazy, try it first and see how it makes you feel. And make sure it fits properly. If you haven’t had a proper bra fitting you’re 90% likely to be wearing completely the wrong fit. So do that, but then once you know you can order online at somewhere cheap like but really, you’re best off trying something on and seeing how it fits for you.

Also, be aware it might not be classic sexy lingerie that does it for you. If you’re into the ddlg side of things it might be, say, a cute little crop top and panties with unicorns does it for you, and that’s awesome too. Similarly, and EVERYONE should try this, it could be that going commando is what gets you feeling it. All good denial sluts should be going commando at least once a week when they can, that’s my opinion 😛

Okay, so lots of ideas there, if anyone tries it, let us know how you get on!

So all these times I” came” by rubbing my clit and then stopping when I was cunning was actually ruined? Damn. I was doing it wrong all this time. And I’m a virgin. No one to do that to me. Oof.


So if you were wondering why you’re just horny all the time… now you know.

Doesn’t mean you have to stop of course. Now you know you’re ruining every orgasm, doing it on purpose is even hotter (if way more twisted).

Oh I’m evil aren’t I, to suggest such a thing.

You know you want it.



I’m embarrassed to say but I haven’t ever got past the hymen. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I try pushing past it and no matter how hard i push nothing happens and I just hurt. So i’ve resorted to doing all sexual stuff not involving my vagina. But i just want to finally penetrate but it isnt working and im frustrated

So this probably isn’t what you want to hear but, you should see a doctor about this. 

Rarely a hymen can be ‘septate’ which means instead of it just being a fringe around the inside of your vagina it actually blocks it a bit, or it can even be completely blocking it (imperforate). Or some mix in between:

It’s a really easy fix but needs to be done by a doctor, so I know it can be embarrassing but you’ve been brave enough to write to me, so I really encourage you to just talk to them about it, and get this sorted.

Even if it isn’t that, it’s some kind of issue that it’s worth getting medical advice on. I know even in western countries it’s hard and in other cultures even more difficult but you are more than your culture and you need to be confident taking responsibility for your sexual health, rather than just being scared to talk about it and so suffering silently, don’t do that!

And of course you don’t need to say ‘I keep trying to fuck myself and it won’t happen’ – your best bet is using tampons as the excuse ‘They just won’t go in and it hurts’. And ask for a female doctor, most places will respect that.

I hope that helps! Get it sorted and start to enjoy penetration, it’s literally what your pussy is for!


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I just ruined what could’ve possibly been the best orgasm of my 18 year old life. I’m heartbroken and I want someone to hold me 😥

Oh I’m sure it would have been the best, just incredible, but, that means it was the best ruin of your life too, so that’s a positive, right?

Oh damn that’s mean…