with two women in them have captions about being “friends” playing denial games together. It makes me feel like I won’t ever find a female Dom who is into this stuff– and it’s harder to insert myself into the fantasies. I don’t expect you to

change it, but I do hope you’ll hear what I am trying to say. Thank you for your time. (And for having anon enabled; I’m still closeted).

Okay, thank you for this, you make a good point. You’re right, I think I probably do tend to frame female-female captions in the light of friends exploring denial. This in part comes from the images I tend to pick which lend themselves to that scenario, and also most of the subs I’ve had have tended to be mostly straight and so the lesbian scenarios we played with, or actually made happen, were within this context.

I guess it’s about audience as well. In the survey I carried out at the beginning of the year only 4.2% of the 1,100 respondents identified themselves as homosexual. And despite all you hear about 10% of the population being gay, that’s actually statistically nonsense, the best stats in the UK say it’s only about 1.5% of the whole population (although I think that struggles to take in the reality of bi-sexuality – which 30% of you little fuckers said you were in my survey – but then you millennials don’t like putting yourself in boxes, do ya.)

That’s not even the bad news… let’s talk about lesbian dommes. 

I’m sorry to tell you that in my 10+ years of exploring BDSM I’ve found the same two things again and again:

  1. Most of them are fake.
  2. Those who aren’t fake, are fucking nutjobs.

Whether it’s been me or a sub interacting with them, I’ve never met one who doesn’t leave a trail of insanity and destruction behind her. Of course there are going to be exceptions, maybe I’ve just been unlucky, but if you’ve got your heart set on a lesbian domme then I’m warning you now, I think it’s going to be hard work (I say the same thing to any young woman wanting a dom too, just I think you have it even worse).

In fact, as is my advice for anyone wanting to find a dom, I think your best bet by far is to find someone you love, who has dominant characteristics, and teach them to be your dom and you learn to be their sub (in fact I’m writing some stuff on how you might do that right now). 

This myth of some perfect dom or domme out there waiting for you is a fantasy (if they’re really that perfect then trust me, they ain’t waiting, you can maybe join the queue) – so be proactive, get out there and make your own!

But thanks again for the feedback, I’ll definitely take it into consideration as I work on more captions and ideas.

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