(1) Dear James, I am a big fan of your blog and of denial. I’ve felt lost recently and did not feel horny at all. It’s like my urge has disappeared. I came last Sunday simply forcing it with wand pressed against my clit. I have not touched myself since then. I didn’t even want to. Until now. So far I have mildly caress my cunt through my knickers and then pulled my t-shirt up to tease my nipples. That is all. I feel my cunt is on fire right now. I am so horny and want to have an orgasm so bad.

…But should it be that easy? What do you think a good girl should do? Amanda

Well Amanda, firstly it’s completely okay to go through cycles of what you feel like. Women in particular have their hormone levels changing all the time because of your menstrual cycle, and to my mind that makes it a wonderful dance, discovering what your body needs and wants all the time.

However, it can also present you with the challenge of denying yourself even when you don’t feel like it. That’s something that those who want to experience longer term denial have to learn to adapt to. 

It sounds to me like you’re enjoying some ‘no touch’ stimulation and that’s fabulous, stick with that while it’s turning you on, and then, when you just can’t take it any more, you can play with yourself through your knickers. And that’s it. Then the next day, you can play inside them, but no hard edges, just soft play. Then the day after that you can edge, but only once that day.

So no, no cumming. Good girls don’t cum, you know that. Horny and wet, that’s how you’re meant to be, and that’s exactly how you’ll stay.